Yumikuri Alphabet (Modern AU)
by Lozwithasideofcheese
Summary: It's about time everyone's favourite yuri couple got some more attention. Essentially, I've written a chapter per letter of the alphabet and each chapter is set in a modern AU. Don't worry, no high schools, I promise! Rated T for references to mature themes and Ymir's vocabulary. Trigger warnings inside if relevant.
1. A

**A/N- Hello all! So there are plenty of Yumikuri fanfictions out there. There are many oneshots and many different alphabet prompted fics out there, so firstly thank you for deciding to take the time out of your life to read mine! Secondly, this is mainly something I do when I'm bored or whenever I watch/read Attack On Titan so update times could potentially be all over the place. Sorry. Finally, the letter 'A' is actually considerably shorter than the others so please don't criticize for length.**

**Thanks for reading that, if you did. No more of them, I swear!**

* * *

A- Apprehensive

Christa's hands flitted thoughtlessly. Her fingers bunch together and then found themselves at her sides again without her mind thinking about it. Ymir is in trouble. More so than usual. Christa runs a hand through her hair. This is all her fault. If only she had been more careful at the time then Ymir wouldn't have had to grab the wheel and swerve on the behalf of both of them, almost dying and saving Christa in the process as she always seems to have done for as long as the two have known each other. The blonde had been wary of telling Ymir about her feelings for a long time since her tall friend hasn't exactly proven herself to be the most emotionally open of people. Hanji steps out of the cramped medical room, goggles and hair in complete disarray as she has been trying so hard to understand why something had gone so horribly wrong with Ymir. All they know is that the car they'd bought earlier went off the road about an hour before they were found. Ymir is close to death and there is nothing they can do other than to just hope that she heals somehow. Christa's head snaps up at the sound of the door creaking.

"Ymir?" The young girl's croaky voice shows her agony. She makes no effort to hide her pain.

"No. It's Hanji. I'm sorry Christa but this will definitely take more time than we thought it would." The warm eyes of Hanji Zoe reassure Christa in a way that nothing else could. At that point Christa realises that the only thing left to do is wait.

And that is something she is willing to do.


	2. B

B- Blessing

"Hey mum. So this is Ymir. The one I've told you so much about." Christa smiles warmly downwards at her mother. Ymir smiles and waves uncomfortably, awkward about the whole situation.

"Hello Mrs Reiss. Sorry we haven't spoken more. I've been busy banging your daughter." Ymir's blunt attitude causes Christa to simultaneously laugh and glare at her girlfriend with the strength of a thousand demons.

"Sorry mum. She's good at heart, really. Isn't that what you said to me when I came out? That the only thing that matters is a person's heart." Ymir yawns and Christa shoves an elbow into Ymir's arm. Christa can almost see the grin forming on her mother's face. Almost.

"Let's cut to the chase already, shall we?"

"Right. Yeah. So apparently something most couples do before getting married is ask for their parents' blessing and since Dad isn't around anymore and Ymir's parents... Well, you're the only person I could think we'd need to ask. We're planning on getting married. You know, now it's legal. So we're here asking for your blessing." Christa's eyes start to tear up. "It won't be a normal wedding. Neither of us have anyone to walk us down the aisle. Hell, I've managed to get Reiner to do it but Ymir's going without. It won't be right... Without..."

"Christa." Ymir's warning tone reminds Christa to not get too carried away for her own sake. The smaller girl's hands clench together and the knuckles whiten. Ymir reaches out and grabs one hand, squeezing it slightly to relax the muscles.

"I know. Just give me a few more minutes, okay?" The taller girl rolls her eyes and leans down to press her lips against her girlfriend's head.

"Fine. Just don't beat yourself up too much." Ymir sighs, yielding from persistence.

"I miss you, mum. That's the thing. I just wish you could be there, even if you were your usual self. While you were around, you were distant but at least you were there. I miss you and I couldn't just go without introducing you to Ymir." The small blonde runs back to the car, tears streaming from her eyes. After her girlfriend had long since arrived back at the car, Ymir turns back to the cold, grey grave.

"Thank you, Mrs Reiss. Thank you for Christa."

Then she left.


	3. C

C- Cheater

The warm arms around her filled Christa with hormonal happiness yet the splitting headache of a hangover tore at her mind. Something bad happened last night. Flashes of moments Christa isn't entirely sure are either dreams or memories fly through her mind. A glass filled with some kind of cocktail, that probably happened. Reiner vomiting up a cat, that most probably didn't happen. Ymir going home, tired of going to Reiner's stupid parties. That also seemed like a likely thing to happen. So why was Christa still present and wrapped up in someone's arms when Ymir wasn't present? Shit. Christa cursed herself internally a thousand times over. She rolled over, scrunching her nose as it got closer to the stench of alcohol. Seeing the face of Reiner inches away from her own, she almost burst into tears. This isn't even the first time this had happened. The second time with Reiner. Shit. Slowly, Christa rolled out of bed, making sure not to disturb Reiner. She seemed to be the first person up in the wrecked apartment. Christa crept slowly out of the room and out of the apartment. She lived with Ymir in the flat on the floor beneath. With any luck, Ymir would still be in bed and Christa could sneak in with her and Ymir would surely suspect nothing. Christa sighed to herself. How did she keep getting herself into all of these messes? She loved Ymir, right? With all her heart, right? Then why did she always end up in bed with some guy? This was starting to happen far too often and Christa knew it. What would happen if Ymir found out? The questions flowed through her mind furiously, tearing her apart with guilt. The very second she stepped into apartment the brown haired girl in the chair caught her attention.

"Who was it this time?" Ymir's husky, cynical tone shot straight into Christa's heart. She knew.

"Who was what?"

"This isn't the first time. I've seen that face enough. You feel guilty and I can tell."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Seeing the lie fall flat Christa's head hangs.

"Don't act fucking dumb Christa. I'm starting to get bored of hearing the same shit over and over again. It's not in your personality to lie and that makes it painfully obvious when you're lying. Now tell me, who was it this time?" Ymir does not show her emotions and that is a statement of fact. Clearly this must have been eating her apart inside because her eyes had started to water.

"Reiner..." Christa's mouth moved but no sound comes out. She simply mouthed the word.

"What?" Ymir did not move at all. She simply stared at Christa, waiting once more for her girlfriend's response.

"Reiner! I said it was Reiner, okay."

"Reiner again, huh? Christa, just say the word that you're straight and you can go off in a new single life and sleep with all the guys you want without feeling the guilt you obviously feel and I will slip into the shadows and you will never see me again. I am selfish, Christa. That is how I work. Let me be selfless, just this once."

"No Ymir. I'm not straight. Not totally anyway. I don't think so."

"There's a chance then. You could have a future with a guy and he could protect you better than me. So why don't you just fuck off back to a party and sleep with some more guys? I'll still be here waiting for you when you want me. If you want me. Ever again. Until you're done I'll just go out and grab a beer or two. I might talk to Bertholdt for a while. At least looking at him won't sicken me, or will it?"

"No! You shouldn't be-" Christa's train of thought was interrupted as Ymir got up from the chair and strode over towards the small blonde girl. Ymir made eye contact with her Goddess and never let go of it. The cheating was getting out of control, admittedly. That didn't stop Ymir from loving her, as much as the concept of a cheesy romance sickened Ymir as much as the idea of her Christa sleeping in someone else's bed. Well maybe not that much. Ymir pulled Christa into a warm embrace and buried her face in her fluffy, well kept, blonde hair. Damn Christa for being so dainty and proper and adorable. Ymir's words hurt Ymir as much as they hurt Christa but they had to be said..

"Christa, I've been working my ass off to get this relationship working but I didn't even think about how you're feeling. It's in my nature to be selfish. If you need more time then I guess we could work something out for now, okay? Just don't do anything stupid." With that, Ymir looked at the clock, grabbed her suitcase and left for work. As she would have done on any other morning.


	4. D

D- Drunk

"Another one, bartender." Ymir's deep, husky voice demanded sloppily. Annie seemed to be staring at her from the other side of the dark, musty bar. Good. Let her stare. Historia had lied to her, betrayed her. She'd had Ymir arrested. It's probably safe to say that Ymir had been drinking for about 4 hours consecutively working at about three pints an hour. Simply put, she was wasted. Pissed. Hammered. Off her face. Yet since she had brought her newest credit card with her, the drinks just kept on coming. The bartenders switched every two hours so nobody had approached her, demanding for the girl to leave yet. Before Ymir could say 'I'd kill for a nap right now' a sharp tap on her shoulder brought her back into the moment.

"Ymir. Are you okay?"

"Well yeah. Apart from the headache, the heartache and the backache I'm just fine." Ymir slurred her words to the point at which they were barely audible to Annie's ears. Annie's gaze shifted from one of the slightest concern to one of anger.

"Where the hell is Christa? She's supposed to have stopped you from relapsing!"

"Historia is off fucking playing Princesses or some shit. I dunno. I don't have to give a shit anymore so I'm not."

"Ymir you are a recovering alcoholic you shouldn't be here. What do you mean she's playing Princesses?" Annie slows down her words, in case Ymir somehow forgot how to speak English.

"She got a call from her daddy and now she's gone ZOOM back to wherever the fuck it was he lives. Fuckin' bitches." Ymir's beer arrived and the brunette took a swift gulp, downing almost half of the glass in one. Annie, starting to get frustrated, grabbed the glass and threw it into the ground. This caused a great smash that turned all heads in her direction.

"Can someone please call a taxi? Book it in the name of Leonhardt." Annie turned her head back to the almost passed-out Ymir. "Do you still have Chris-Historia's number?" Ymir replied by simply handing Annie her mobile. It had no passcode and Annie found Christa's contact easily, since it was one of five contacts on her phone. She hit the call button and held the phone close to her ear.

"The fuck you doin'?" Ymir's speech was becoming just plain lazy at this point. Annie ignored her until eventually someone picked up on the other end of the phone.

"Ymir? Oh thank God. Where are you? Look I-"

"Historia it's Annie."

"Annie? What happened?"

"I found your girlfriend here at this bar downtown drinking like four pints an hour or some shit. Where the fuck are you? You said you would help her since you were the only one she accepted the fucking help from."

"I had to leave on business and Ymir stormed out and I've been looking all over and I'm really sorry and-"

"Shut the fuck up. Look, the damage is done and she's gonna need rehab again because of this. Where are you and where can I send a taxi to?"

"I'm back in America."

"Fuck. So you've just left her? Is that it?" Annie had no clue why she was defending Ymir so strongly of all people.

"Just send a cab to our apartment, alright? I'll... I'll come right back again as soon as Dad's better." Annie felt a pang of guilt. So Christa was off with her Dad in possibly his last moments and Ymir was here drinking away the agony of being away from Christa. Instead of making a fuss of it -as most people would- Annie was used to crazy shit like this from these two. She simply texted Eren telling him that she'd be late home tonight and helped Ymir back into the taxi, telling him her address and paying for the ride.


	5. E

E- Excuses

The same old shit. Ymir was past being done with it. Why was she still here then? After all this time Ymir still refused to believe that there was something going on. What if Historia was just working late nights at the office and then falling asleep over there? What if she bought new boxers that she wore home on the same day? What if Mikasa and Annie drifting at the same pace as Ymir and Historia at the same time was a complete coincidence? An unlikely one, admittedly but still. There was a chance, wasn't there? Ymir took another long gulp from the green bottle at her side. The bottle seemed to be at her side these days more than Historia. A knock on the door stirred Ymir into action. She got up and turned a light on as she went, pulling the knife out of the kitchen cabinet just in case it was somebody else with their arms around her Historia. Unfortunately, her problems were not to be resolved that easily. Bertholdt was stood at the door, hunched over slightly and leaning on the door. He was panting, meaning that he'd been sprinting or he'd just been at the gym.

"No I don't want to go to your party."

"That's not why I'm here." He stuttered over his sentence at a couple of points but Ymir was used to that from Bertholdt. "It's Christa. She... I... Reiner... She..." Ymir flinched internally. She got the message.

"I'd been suspecting something. Thanks for telling me. Do you want a beer?" Ymir was aware of the close 'friendship' Bertholdt and Reiner had and as Bert was more sensitive than someone like Ymir herself she felt the need to be a little more delicate than usual. Yet, as always, she threw aside that mental suggestion and continued with her usual bored facade.

"Ymir I'm sorry."

"You're probably more sorry than I am. Hell if I care anymore." The blatantly obvious lie shone through her words like a neon sign.

"I know that you and Christa-"

"Historia. That's her real name. Use it." Ymir corrected with her usual tired expression.

"Right. Sorry. Anyway-"

"Just cut to the chase, alright? How did you find them? Frankly Bert, I don't care how much you flinch or cringe. I want to know details. As many as you know."

"They weren't doing anything dirty. It was just a kiss that I found them doing but the hands were giving off a different vibe, you know?"

"Tongue?"

"Yeah." Ymir leaned her cheek into her clenched fist, crushing the tear threatening to form. She didn't cry. Not in front of herself nor anyone else.

"Has Reiner been working extra hours recently?"

"No we've been together more than ever recently." This intrigued Ymir. Why would Historia be doing it with Reiner at his apartment with his boyfriend in the next room? It didn't make any logical sense whatsoever. "Why? Has Christa?" It could've been multiple guys.

"Historia has been avoiding me like the fucking plague. Well you've helped Bert, I'll give you that." What if it was multiple guys?

"Good to be of use. Can I take another beer home? I don't want to mooch too much but we haven't had anything but protein shakes in the house since Reiner took over the shopping." Her Historia was shagging multiple guys.

"Sure. Don't worry about it." Ymir had done everything in her power to make sure that Historia was safe and happy with her. What was she doing wrong?

"Alright. Well I think I'll see you later. I'm going to Mikasa's place." Since they all lived together it couldn't be Mikasa, Annie or Eren, right?

"Bye." Ymir slammed the door in his face as he left. Historia had cheated on her. Yet deep inside Ymir knew she deserved it. Karma really _is_ a bitch.


	6. F

F- Friends

Christa couldn't have possibly brought herself to such a conclusion. She didn't love Ymir, surely. It was obviously just some kind of phase that would pass her by like a whirlwind. Still, the feelings were too real for now that she couldn't just leave it, could she? Could she? No. Of course she couldn't. Ymir would probably have picked up on it sooner or later anyway. So there Christa sat on the park bench, as far away from Ymir as she physically could while constrained to a two man bench, Ymir sprawled out in her usually casual way. Christa clasped her hands together, turning to face her tall friend who was watching her with cautious curiosity. Obviously, Ymir was going to be confused when Christa dragged her away from her apartment that she shared with Annie (Who worked nights so the two never actually interacted, which suited them just fine) since usually Christa goes there. Since Ymir wasn't going to initiate conversation any time soon, Christa sighed deeply to herself and looked her friend dead in the eye. Ymir raised an eyebrow in response. No breeze wafted Christa's hair in an attractive way and her usual greyish blue eyes were so painfully outshined by Ymir's golden orbs. Of course, Ymir would never agree with that. Then again, since this was all Christa's internal monologue it didn't really matter much what Ymir would have thought. There were no outstanding smells in the air other than the occasional whiff of Ymir's woodsy scent that sent Christa to cloud 9 for a millisecond at a time. Christa tasted blood as she bit into her cheeks too hard with anxiety. There were no sounds to be heard, as if time itself stood still. Not exactly the romantic setting Christa had hoped for but still better than Ymir's musty apartment.

"So why have you dragged me out here Historia?" Ymir sighed, getting bored again.

"Ymir I have to tell you something that's pretty important. I don't want to make a big deal of it or anything. I'm not... I'm not expecting you to understand completely. I can't control the thing I'm about to tell you about but I can contain it."

"What? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you about to confess your love for Jean or some shit because you know I don't care. You can do whatever on that front as long as you don't describe your sex life to me in detail."

"No. It's not any of the guys."

"Oh you're gay, huh? Is it Annie? Mikasa? God, I wouldn't blame you if it was Mikasa."

"No. It's none of them?"

"Do gone on."

"It's you." Ymir pauses in her witty rebuttals and simply stared at Christa with the usual blank expression she always seemed to wear. After about a minute Ymir closes her eyes and nods her head towards the ground slowly.

"Okay." The empty, almost cold response almost killed Christa inside. She knew what silence meant whenever Ymir was around and the fact that she felt the need to reply showed just how hopeless Christa's situation was.

"We could still be friends? If it isn't too weird or whatever."

"Yeah sure. It's getting kinda late. I should be headed home." Christa nodded understandingly. Their friendship would probably never be the same again. Christa just killed off her only real friendship. The guilt and self loathing rolled through her like an earthquake. Ymir left without another word and left Christa alone to her thoughts in the darkening, silent, empty park.


	7. G

G- Games

"God damn it Christa!" Ymir cried in irritation, as she glared heavily at the chess board. The white figures significantly outnumbered the black figures.

"You're just mad because you can't play." The smaller girl teased with a grin as her tongue slipped out between her lips cheekily.

"Bullshit! It's not my fault you used to play for the team."

"You could've played for the team too... Besides, that was way back in High School. Now it's just a matter of me being smarter than you." The brunette fell straight into the trap.

"You're smarter than me? That makes even less sense than this matchup. If you wanted to be clever then why not face Armin?"

"I'm smarter than you, not Einstein." Christa retorted defensively. Ymir rolled her eyes and her eyes went back to the board as Christa took out Ymir's last bishop. Ymir cussed almost silently and got rid of the last of Christa's pawns.

"Well at least I've managed to kill something in this God forsaken game." She muttered, giving Christa a cause to giggle in a way that gave Ymir a shiver down her spine. Suddenly, Ymir worked out a somewhat cruel idea as to how she could redeem her fallen reputation after being almost defeated. She started to rub the top of the queen piece as seductively as she could manage. Christa swallowed hard and shook her head before she then giggled again, removing Ymir's last knight on the board. Only the queen and king remained of Ymir's little army. Well there was one pawn left but Christa had long since dismissed that particular piece. When she saw that her plan wasn't working, Ymir stepped up the flirting. She lay on her side, letting the material of her t-shirt slide up slightly. It should have been working by now, damn it. Ymir shuffled over to Christa's side of the board.

"Hey hey hey! Not until I've won!" Christa exclaims, trying to persist in the game that she'd wanted to play for about a solid fortnight.

"I was just scoping out the opposition. You see, it's important to know where your priorities should be." Ymir tried to whisper seductively into Christa's ear and it seemed to work.

"And my priorities are to kick your ass in chess." Christa whispered back, mimicking Ymir's expression. The older girl sighed and returned back to her side of the board. She took out the nearest piece to the king and started to wave the small figurine around her mouth. Ymir knew that somehow she would persist and she would make sure of it. She stretched her arms and yawned but before Ymir could even think about making any kind of move, Christa had grabbed her arm in place.

"Jesus woman, I'm just stretching."

"And my name is Beyoncé."

"But I've already put a ring on it!" Ymir made a reference and Christa giggled yet again. Christa reached her face up and pecked Ymir lightly on the cheek.

"Checkmate." The younger girl's voice was like a gentle caress to Ymir's ears.

"Finally." Ymir reached out and the two kissed again. "I was bored of chess anyway." She whispered and a smirk appeared on her face.

"Just because you suck." Christa giggled again and the two of them lay next to each other and they fell into each others' arms once more.


	8. H

H- Hate

"Hold me back." Ymir muttered as she saw him in the distance. Christa sighed and clutched on to the older girl's hand.

"It's okay, Ymir. He won't do anything to you. It's been 15 years since High School. He probably barely remembers us." Christa tried to reassure Ymir that all would be well, yet despite this Ymir's memories of Jean Kirschtein were not pleasant enough for her to get over the grudge she held.

"Sure." Ymir grumbled miserably. "Let's just go get a drink." Christa chuckled to herself and dragged Ymir to the bar to get some wine. Ymir's attention was drawn back to Christa's rather extravagant silver ball gown that she'd bought just for the reunion. The invitation did state formal attire so Christa had spared no expense, much to the dismay of Ymir's credit card. Ymir herself had been more conservative, simply opting for a plain yet somewhat formal black dress. In Ymir's opinion, there was no point in buying some fancy clothes just for a one-time event. On the other hand, having Christa dress up so fancy made Ymir look great and generous and it made her look like she'd really made it in life. Even though they'd probably both be eating less for the next fortnight or so. They both settled for one of the tiny glasses of champagne available to them. After a wry comment from Ymir about the size of the glasses, Christa dragged her away to the dance floor.

"Come on, you've already finished your drink." Christa begged as she stood by the dance floor. "Just one dance, Ymir. Please. We never dance anymore!"

"Yeah I'm gonna need another 4 drinks at least before I'm doing any of that. Why don't you go find one of your old friends while I top up?" Ymir stroked Christa's shoulder gently and then left to get more booze. On the way to the bar, she just so happened to bump into Jean and all hell almost broke loose.

"Hey Ymir. Still playing out of your league, huh?" Jean snickered, nodding his head towards Christa.

"Fuck you Jean." She muttered, trying her hardest to not break his stupid, smug face.

"What happened to the creative Ymir, eh? That was a really crappy insult." He tried to push her onwards towards a stronger reaction.

"Look, I promised Christa that I'd try to not break your face but I swear to whatever God you believe in these days, if you push me too far I will ruin this day for both of you." When it seemed that he had become speechless Ymir walked straight past him and grabbed two more glasses of champagne. She found Christa socializing with Sasha and Connie. She couldn't stand certain things about Sasha. The accent thing was one of them. Just hearing the posh accent she faked was enough to make Ymir's mouth straighten out further than usual. She gulped down one glass of champagne immediately. It tasted like cardboard. Ymir dumped the empty glass on the stage behind Armin. She came up behind Christa and threw her arms over Christa's shoulders. Christa jumped a little but upon the realisation that it was only Ymir, she carried on as if her girlfriend wasn't even there. Ymir drank the second glass of champagne and managed to reserve herself to only two gulps for the one glass. After about ten minutes she saw Jean and Marco head up to the dancefloor for the slow dance. Ymir naturally took this as a challenge. She rubbed her mouth against the back of Christa's head.

"What is it?" The soft, chiming voice of Christa questioned.

"You wanted to dance, didn't you." Ymir separated herself from Christa to offer her hand towards the blonde girl of her dreams. Christa smiled delightfully, like a child that had just been allowed to stay at the park for an extra ten minutes. This alone gave Ymir the determination to take Christa's hand and lead her to the dance floor. Obviously, Ymir wasn't exactly an expert on dancing but neither was Jean. The competition lit her face with a smirk like none other. Maybe this reunion thing wouldn't be such a bad idea if she could be better than Jean at something. That alone would be enough to satisfy Ymir and the dancing would greatly increase her chances of getting laid tonight. Yes, the two were in a deeply committed relationship but Christa ran a tight ship. Ymir swept Christa along as gracefully as she could without giving herself some kind of overloaded brain. With that aside, Ymir thought she was doing rather well for herself. Every so often she'd get a glance at Jean's rather unsatisfied partner and would chuckle to herself. Revenge was hers. She had won. Christa looked up into her eyes and Ymir rested her forehead against Christa's forehead.

"I love you." Ymir smirked and nodded. She had trouble communicating her feelings through words sometimes and sometimes she could only be angry. But never at Christa. She would never hate Christa.


	9. I

I- If

Ymir dumped her bag on the kitchen counter. She took off her dripping waterproof coat and threw it over a radiator. Historia had her trapped in her tiny hand but only Ymir knew. What if she told Historia about her feelings? Ymir barked a laugh at the thought. She was Ymir, for crying out loud. Feelings were below her, right? Her job sucked, her flat sucked, her shitface roomate Jean sucked. Generally, her life sucked too. Apart from when Historia was there. What if Ymir could just tell her that? Who was she kidding? She'd never tell. The tall girl slumped onto the shitty sofa she had to pay for with pretty much a month's wages. Most of the springs had broken and the cushions were faded and uncomfortable, but at least it was something. What if she won the lottery? What if she won the lottery and Historia's heart? Chicks love money, don't they? Ymir sighed and switched the TV on. The TV was obviously the most expensive thing in the apartment, with it being a gift from Jean's boyfriend (Max? Mark? Ymir couldn't remember his name). Maybe he felt bad for their constant, loud fucking every other night next door to Ymir's room. At least someone would feel bad for it. Jean obviously felt no remorse. Some weird show about teenagers killing giant naked people with weird stretched out faces and no genitals came on, but Ymir didn't really pay attention to it. She flicked through the channels aimlessly, all the while thinking of Historia. What if life was one of these romantic comedy movies where the hero always gets the girl? That would really suck for Ymir. Mainly because the hero tended to be a man and also because of how damn cheesy they all are. No. Ymir was desperate, but not _that_ desperate. Have there ever been any romantic films with lesbian heroes? Of course not. Lesbians never won anything in films. What if she could be one of the first though? Of course she couldn't, but the fact remained that Ymir would never know until she tried but would that ever happen? Nope. It was at this moment came to a conclusion that today, she would try to make her life suck less. She stood up and grabbed her home phone. Dialling the number carefully, she called Historia's mobile. What if she didn't pick up and Ymir realised how much of a bad idea this probably was? Thankfully, a click was heard at the other end of the line followed by a light coughing sound.

"Hello? Who is it?"

"It's Ymir." Ymir's husky voice replied, regaining its confidence slowly.

"Hey Ymir! Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm... I'm great. How're you?" Think Ymir, think! She needed to get Historia somewhere they could have privacy.

"Good. So what's wrong?"

"What? Nothing's wrong I just wanted to... Uh..." Ymir cursed herself in every language she knew.

"Right, that's it. Ymir. Meet me at the park in 10 minutes. No excuses to be late."

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be worki-"

"Forget about it, I worked overtime last night, I can afford an hour. See you in a bit." Ymir started to panic as she heard the click on the other end. What if she messed up?

If she could pull this off, that happiness was hers for the taking.

What if this time, it happened?


	10. J

J- Jealousy

Ymir was perfectly aware that she was being ridiculous, thank you very much. There was no way that Sasha going out with Christa every other night was making Ymir jealous. Ymir never got jealous. Ever. In fact, to prove that she wasn't jealous, Ymir had made plans with Annie. It would probably just involve drinking and watching the Titans play against the Legion (or something, she didn't watch much American Football anymore) since those were the only two things they both enjoyed. Besides, Annie and Mikasa lived together so when Mikasa got back it was an excuse for Ymir to bail out earlier than usual. Christa wore her furry beige jacket that Ymir liked seeing her in. Why was she wearing that for Sasha? It didn't matter. Ymir wasn't jealous. Christa got out of the car and waved goodbye to Ymir who smiled and mock saluted in return. Then Ymir drove off, leaving Christa to her effeminate night out.

When Ymir pulled up outside Annie's house, she checked her phone.

_Christa: Enjoy ur night out dont get too jealous! xx_

The poorly written text message made Ymir sigh.

_Ymir: Are you drunk already? I don't get jealous._

The lack of reply inferred that Christa was probably drunk already. Ymir would have to catch up quickly. She wandered slowly up the four flights of stairs to Annie's apartment. Well, technically Mikasa's apartment since she paid all the bills for it. Annie paid for everything else they needed. Ymir knocked twice on the door. A few seconds later she heard chains from the inside and eventually the door opened.

"Come in." Annie ordered, trying to not be as aggressive as she usually was. Ymir obeyed and put the crate of beer on the table. "I thought you were driving?"

"No I intend to get shitfaced tonight. The taxi money is right here." Ymir handed £6 to Annie. She then strutted over to the crate and grabbed her first can on the night. "Don't worry, I parked in an overnight parking zone. Calm the fuck down." Ymir could sense Annie's irritation already. It was going to be a long night. Ymir not-so-subtly pulled out her phone. One new message.

_Christa: Ur sooooo jealous xxx_

Ymir sighed again.

_Ymir: Your spelling is giving me a headache. You must be having fun if you've forgotten English._

_Christa: Jealous bitch xx_

Ymir subconsciously enjoyed the amount of x's being sent to her. She'd never admit that but it was as if Christa knew anyway. Sasha must have been enjoying her company by now. They were probably making bets on when they would all go through breakups. Connie and Sasha would break up first. They always reached this conclusion. Ymir knew this from the times she'd been at their weekly meetings in the background drinking vodka slammers. That particular meeting had to be disrupted when Ymir puked up everywhere. She remembered it fondly. She also remembered the sex afterwards. Or was that a dream? Ymir couldn't tell anymore. Anyway, at some point Annie had turned the TV on and brought a small freezer on wheels over to the living area and put it between the sofa and Ymir's chair. It had all thr beers in it. Ymir downed her second beer in about three seconds. She'd need it. Images of Christa and Sasha doing very inappropriate things started to appear in her head and she began to drink at a more intense pace. It was going to be a long night indeed.


	11. K

**_Okay yes, I realise that it's been a long time but I have spent it productively. I'm now writing chapter T for this thing so... Yeah... Look forward to that. Sorry for the wait, enjoy the next couple of chapters!_**

K- Kid

Historia felt hands on her shoulders. Ymir was home. Thank God.

"Hey, let's take Marco out to a restaurant tonight. Maybe a pub. Somewhere outside the house, you know. I'll pay." The brunette offered, somewhat concerned that her wife was actually going stir crazy. She felt bad. It was just that if she took any more time off then she would probably get fired. The young boy, having heard his name, giggled and opened his arms as a gesture to one of his mothers to pick him up.

"Ymir, we can't. He'll just kick up a fuss." Ymir stood back up again, now carrying the two year old in her arms in a way that made him look like he was simply perched in her arm. She frowned, wary of the fact that it had been 2 months since Historia left the house for anything besides shopping.

"Listen, why don't you call one of your friends up and I'll take over Marco-watch for the night." The toddler in Ymir's arms didn't understand the context in which his name was used, but he did hear and recognize his name. The familiar word made Marco show Historia a large, toothy grin.

"Al-alright then. As long as you'll be okay on your own."

"Relax. If I need to, I can call Sasha for help. If she can raise a child with Connie's DNA then I can look after a child for one night." Ymir bent over and kissed Historia on the forehead. "I've got this babe, don't worry about it." She grinned and Marco imitated her, making Historia smile as she saw the dimples in his cheeks.

"Okay. Can you call Eren for me?"

"What for?"

"Mikasa's mobile's busted and I was organizing a playdate for Marco and Jean."

"Jean... Who?" Ymir was aware that she had no idea who Marco's friends were. If he had any. He only went to preschool so Ymir had made a conscious decision to not bother until high school.

"Mikasa's son. Technically Eren's too but they don't really talk about that. Mikasa and Annie look after him."

"Annie? Who'd have thought that she could raise a kid."

"I could say the same for you. Make sure you call Mikasa, I've got to run and make a call and get changed."

"Go for it." Ymir kissed her on the forehead one last time and Marco copied the action. Christa giggled as she felt the small mouth copying his mother's. Ymir put the boy down again and he crawled back to his toys. She rolled her eyes. She'd done it. She'd bore a child for Historia's sake. After they'd found out that Historia was unable to carry a child in her womb, her heartbreak was enough for Ymir to step up. They'd found a donor and Ymir had been the sole mother of the child, much to Historia's dismay. At least she had the child. She still cooed over him more than Ymir did. Ymir hated the process of the donor situation. The idea of sperm being inside her in any form was enough to disgust her to the point of cringing. She did it for Historia. Ymir could see a lot of herself in her son, physically anyway. The already forming freckles, the eye colour, the way their hair both parted in the exact same place naturally. Yet somehow, despite the fact that her genetics were no way involved, Ymir saw Historia's personality shining through. Thank God for that. Ymir wasn't sure she could cope with a copy of herself running around. Of course, there were unknown aspects due to the need for a donor but they would generally accept that they wouldn't tell Marco why until he took sex education lessons at school and learned for himself. It's not like he was adopted. Marco was, by all definitions, her child. Right. Mikasa and Annie's kid, huh? From Historia's brief description, Ymir had guessed that they used Eren as a donor for them. Whether that was a deliberate choice or not, Ymir didn't dare to even think about asking. She picked up the phone and dialled the number labelled 'Mikasa Home'. The line clicked and Ymir heard a crying child at the other end.

"Historia?"

"Close enough." Ymir muttered in a husky enough voice for Mikasa to know who it was. "So Historia said something about a playdate or some crap?"

"Yeah. Do you have a shared diary for a date you're both free? Next Saturday seems best for us but if you're not free..."

"That sounds great, Historia's off work and I get back in time to drop him back off for you. Is that- Hey!" Ymir had failed to notice Marco crawling behind her until he'd grabbed Ymir's trouser legs, hugging it closely to him. "Aw crap. C'mon kid... Look, Mikasa. Duty calls and all, but I'll get Historia to call you back. Next Saturday, yeah?"

"Sounds great." Mikasa sighed from the other end of the phone line. Ymir put the phone down and she once again picked up her extraordinarily needy child. Marco buried his face into Ymir's shoulder and yawned tiredly.

"Bedtime story!" He yawned adorably.

"But it's not bedtime yet, short stuff. C'mon. We've got fun to have!" She smirked rebelliously. Historia ran a tight ship and so a more lax view on bedtime was always going to be appreciated. "I'll tell you what. I'll bring in the milk and you pick out what movie you wanna watch? Okay?" He nodded eagerly and Ymir walked back into the kitchen. She pulled out the milk and baby formula and a beer for herself. After a short amount of time in the microwave, she tested the temperature of the milk and discovered that it was a good enough temperature. She shook it up and brought it back into the living room to see Marco holding up the box for his favourite film and grinning adorably at his triumph in finding it. The film itself was a musical, and a cheery one at that. If it didn't make Marco so happy, Ymir would have hated it. Both mother and child sipped at their beverage of choice, watching the brightly dressed cast prance across the stage.

Historia wasn't quite sure what time it was when she got back. All she knew was that she felt like all of her worries had flown out the window of Sasha's car as she went out drinking for the first time in about 2 years. Time to get back to Ymir and Marco. As she stepped through the threshold of her home, she heard the distant echo of a song from a very familiar film. Historia walked into the living room to find the two most important people in her world asleep on the sofa. At some point, Ymir had laid down and Marco had collapsed straight to sleep on top of her stomach. Ymir's beer rested dangerously close to her hand. Historia moved it out of the way before she acted. She then picked up Marco, being careful not to remove him too quickly. Once he was in his crib resting safely, Historia turned her attention to Ymir who was still sleeping like a log. She knew better than anybody else how once Ymir was asleep, she would stay asleep for at least 6 hours and during that time there was nothing that could disturb her. There was no way in hell that Historia could carry Ymir back to bed, either. Not with their height difference. She simply brought out a spare blanket and spread it over her sleeping wife. Then she adjusted the cushions to make sure that Ymir's neck would be alright in the morning. Historia planted a kiss on her wife's forehead and went back to bed, turning off the film as she went.

"Goodnight, Ymir." Historia smirked one more time before she went to bed.


	12. L

_**Trigger warning: Mentions of rape. Don't read if this is a trigger.**_

L-Love

Ymir pulled the waterproof jacket off, still dripping wet from the terrible weather outside. The flowers were totally ruined and she looked less like the attractive and selfless girlfriend she was going for and she instead looked rather more like a drowned rat. She almost ran into the front room, drowned flowers in hand. Ymir's first realisation that something was off came from the presence of two other people in her living room with a red eyed Historia. Ymir's mood was put off immediately. She threw the dead flowers onto a nearby table and knelt by the light of her world. Why was Historia sat between Mikasa and Annie on _her_ sofa? Ymir's frown was enough to bring on a fresh round of tears from Historia. Mikasa rubbed her back gently.

"Sit down, Ymir." Annie instructed. Normally Ymir would retaliate to that kind of tone from Annie but her circumstances forced Ymir to simply obey as she went over to the only remaining seat in the form of an inherited rocking chair in the corner of the room. Ymir said no words. She simply waited. Historia calmed down slightly. At least, she did on the outside.

"All that's left to do is tell her what you told us, Historia." Mikasa assured her calmly. "She won't hurt you with us here."

"Hurt you? Do you two know me at all? I-"

"Ymir..." Historia started, cutting Ymir off in place. Her voice wobbled. It felt like twisting a red hot dagger inside Ymir's chest. "I... There's something I need to tell you."

"You always know that you can tell me whatever's on your mind." Ymir tried to begin her argument but a glare from Annie prevented her from continuing.

"Ymir I'm... There's..." Mikasa continued to rub Historia's back. It was making Ymir a little too jealous to be comfortable. "I'm pregnant..." What? How could that happen? They were both female. This thing didn't happen to people. "It wasn't... I didn't give them permission. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Ymir's fist clenched. "They've been arrested now. I'm so sorry." Ymir stood up, her face overwhelmed with anger. "I'm sorry!" Historia cried, bracing herself for a blow that would never come. Annie stood up as a precautionary measure. Before any of them could react, the door slammed on them. The rain persisted to pour outside.

"Historia, are you okay?" Mikasa asked, trying to restore some sort of calm. Annie picked up her raincoat from the radiator.

"Mikasa, I'm going after her." Annie informed her over the hysterical sobbing, throwing on the jacket as she gave chase. Mikasa continued to try and console the weeping girl left behind. Annie caught Ymir storming down the street to get to the Police Station. The blonde woman caught up quickly. "Do you really want to do that? Who do you want to do deal with first, him or her? She thinks you're abandoning her."

"I want to rip his fucking dick off, whoever he is." Ymir replied darkly.

"I know. I'll join you. But before you do that, she needs you. God, you're both so in love. It's disgusting." Annie grimaced. It made Ymir smirk to see Annie use the word 'love'. That was a word that Ymir never really believed was part of Annie's vocabulary. Ymir's head turned between the Police Station and the direction of her home. She debated the options before her and ended up simply sighing in resignation.

"Fine. Just let me punch something first." Annie simply nodded and held out her palms, spread open to spread out the incoming impact. Ymir laughed. "I don't want to break your hands, Annie." The blonde woman rolled her eyes and Ymir started to smack her hands. She got more aggressive as time passed...

_Meanwhile..._

Historia had almost cried herself to sleep in Mikasa's comforting arms. She shivered a few times while Mikasa whispered hushed condolences to her. Mikasa's phone went off and she picked it up, her eyes grew larger as she saw that the caller ID said 'Annie'.

"Annie?"

"I got her. We're just about to head back. I managed to stop her before she murdered the bastard. We'll be there in five."

"Thanks. See you."

"Yeah." Annie replied dryly before she hung up. Mikasa nudged the young woman nearly asleep who rested against her.

"Historia? They're coming back."

"They are? But Ymir-"

"She was going to get revenge for your sake, but Annie stopped her."

"So... She wasn't going to walk out on me?" Mikasa physically snorted.

"Oh please. Where else would she go without you? You're the only thing that matters to her, you know that, right?"

"Well... I thought..." Historia was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. They were back and Historia was once again terrified. Ymir entered the room again for the second time, this time she seemed a lot more at ease. She seemed gentler. Ymir shuffled her feet awkwardly, as unsure as to how to go about comforting her girlfriend as she could have been. She approached Historia and crouched on the floor in front of her. Ymir cupped her cheek and gave her the most sincerely apologetic look she could possibly manage.

"We can work this out, okay?" Ymir tried to be comforting. She tried her damned hardest because it was her Historia that was upset. "I don't know how, but we can work with this."

"You aren't leaving?" Historia sniffled quietly in response. Ymir moved her hand from Historia's cheek to her hand.

"Hell no. You think I'd care to be anywhere you aren't?" Historia giggled slightly. She didn't notice when Mikasa stood up to go and stand by Annie. The other couple in the room stood next to each other and watched the scene unfold before them. Well, Mikasa watched them and Annie watched Mikasa's reaction intently. The two strangers decided to leave as the rain had just cleared up outside. When they were once again alone, Historia broke the eye contact they held. Ymir placed a large hand on Historia's abdomen. "How long have you known for?"

"About two weeks. I couldn't go on not telling anyone anymore..."

"Please tell me the first person you told was the police."

"Well, sort of."

"Mikasa?" Historia nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Ymir respected that silent wish and simply grasped the back of Historia's neck, pulling her in for a kiss that reassured the smaller woman that everything somehow genuinely would be alright. "We'll fix it Historia."

"I thought you were supposed to be the pessimist."

"Yeah. I am. That means you're in my territory." Ymir kissed her again. "Seriously, we'll fix it somehow. I promise."

"Easier said than done. I don't know if I'll be able to handle this. It's bigger than anything I've been anywhere near doing before."

"It's a good thing you won't be working alone then." Ymir smirked and grasped her hand tighter.


	13. M

M- Mischief

Historia was in one of those moods. Ymir was not. It was that simple. Ymir had gotten home from work at an extraordinarily late time, extremely pissed off and most definitely not in the mood to partake in her usual activities with Historia. So now there she was, trying to watch TV in peace. Historia could not have possibly allowed her to get away with such an activity. The blonde approached steadily, she fiddled with the bottom of her jumper as she walked. She stood in front of the TV and pulled off her (technically Ymir's) hoodie to reveal a plain white bra. Normally this would have turned Ymir on already but she was exhausted and frankly not in the mood.

"Move out of the way." Ymir muttered, irritated that the TV was no longer responding to the remote.

"Come on Ymir." Historia begged in a light, melodic voice. "Sex first, TV later."

"See, you say that but you really mean 'sex until you're too exhausted to move back to the TV and cuddle me for the rest of the evening'. Don't even deny it. It's nothing personal, I just want a quiet nigh- what are you doing?" Historia started to wriggle out of her jeans until she was only in her underwear. Ymir shrugged and spread out over the small sofa, her legs dangled off the edge due to her above-average height. Historia huffed and sat upright on Ymir's middle. Ymir braced herself for whatever Historia was planning next. It wasn't long before Historia was lying on top of her.

"But I've had a really long day..." She tried again, looking at Ymir with the biggest puppy eyes possible as she did so. Ymir bit her lip. The puppy dog eyes were Historia's most deadly weapon and the lack of clothing certainly didn't help Ymir's resolve any.

"Yeah. So have I. So let me relax in front of the TV in peace." Ymir replied defensively. Historia twisted around so that she was lying on Ymir face down. Her boobs were touching Ymir's and the taller girl blushed. She didn't mean to. It just happened.

"Ymir..." Historia whined, obviously annoyed at how stubborn her girlfriend was. Of course, she'd always been this stubborn but usually it was the other way around between them. It was usually Ymir doing the begging and Historia in control. She didn't like the shift in power. "You aren't even watching anything!"

"I will be if you shut up and let me find something to watch."

"What did I do?" Historia despaired. She pouted at Ymir and Ymir once again bit her lip out of stubbornness.

"I'm sorry babe but I'm just not feeling it tonight." Ymir sighed, trying again to get Historia to just relax somewhere else or get a drink or something. Anything that didn't involve her, really. Then she felt a small hand around the waistband of her jeans. Ymir coughed loudly and grabbed Historia's hand, moving it away from the danger zone. "We're watching snooker." Ymir insisted. She changed the channel once and for all.

"Really? You're ignoring sex for _snooker_? Are you mad?"

"Probably. Now shut up and watch these grown men play with balls." Ymir ordered, pulling Historia into a light embrace. Historia sighed, accepting that she wouldn't be getting Ymir into bed before this one programme finished. Whenever it finished. Unless she did something drastic. Just like that, Historia pulled Ymir's top clean off. "What are you doing?" Ymir shouted as the oversized t-shirt went flying across the room. Historia nimbly leapt off the sofa and picked up the shirt. Ymir jumped off the sofa, chasing the small blonde girl around their apartment to get her clothing back. Then Historia ran into their bedroom. Historia was sat on the bed, raising the shirt tauntingly with a victorious expression plastered on her face.

"Come get it." She challenged as a smirk appeared on her delicate face. Ymir narrowed her eyes and leapt on the girl and grabbed her top. Only now she was lying on Historia on their bed.

Right where she wanted her.

Historia pulled Ymir into her and they kissed quickly. Then they hugged for a while before Historia needed to pee. She tried to get up but Ymir wouldn't move. Historia looked at the taller girl's face to find that she had collapsed from exhaustion.

"Rest well, stubborn idiot."


	14. N

**This one's going to be shorter than usual, but I'll upload another chapter as well.**

N- New

The rain pounded ceaselessly against the windows of their new home. Ymir placed the last box down on the kitchen floor and sat flat on her backside, resting her head against the wall after heaving the majority of the heavy stuff in by herself.

"Ymir, why the hell do we have this tub of Five Spice? We never cook."

"I wanted to cook once and it looked like a very cheffy thing to be used in cooking." The older woman sighed, trying to recall some shopping trip from years ago.

"Bin it?"

"No it could come in handy if I want to cook again. You never know, this could end up becoming a thing now we have a house. Grown up responsibilities and shit."

"We can't be grown ups, you swear too much." Christa chuckled, looking over at Ymir with a grin plastered on her face that Ymir was very familiar with.

"Don't you get all high and mighty with me, young lady. You swear too."

"I do not!" Christa laughs disbelievingly before pulling the most heart-wrenching puppy eyes that had ever existed. "Why would you say that? I don't do that." Ymir shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of Christa's puppy eyes. However, she could resist the puppy eyes. She had enough bruises on her ass to know that Christa was _not_ some innocent little puppy. Ymir stood up, ignoring the pain in her calf muscles and lower back after the lifting and grabbed Christa's waist.

"Oh please. You're as bad as me." Ymir's smirk began to show beneath the bored expression she usually wore all the time. The two closed in and moved into each other and eventually they kissed. As soon as Christa's hands began to wander downwards Ymir drew away. "Not now. You have to unpack the shit before we can do that."

"You're so fucking annoying." Christa grumbled to herself. Ymir gasped in mock horror before getting a slap to the back of the head, rolling her eyes and she left the room. After she left Christa sighed, took one look at the unpacked boxes and quickly followed Ymir out of the room, aroused, annoyed and more than a little bit confused. The usual emotions after she'd been dealing with Ymir.


	15. O

**Hooray for angst!**

O- Old

The age difference was always going to be a problem between the girls themselves, never mind their parents. Historia's parents were surprisingly alright with it. After all, they liked the idea of her being with someone old enough to protect her. However, Ymir's parents were not so happy. She glared at the floor as she received the lecture from her father.

"You paedophillic, untrustworthy piece of shit!" He shouted. Historia clutched onto Ymir's hand a little tighter. "A 16 year old girl? Have you lost your _fucking_ mind? Are you _completely_ lacking in morals? You are _25 years old_, Ymir. You are an adult and her brain hasn't even stopped growing yet, no offence Historia. I'd be supportive if it was Nanaba or Hanji or someone else your age but no. Of course you'd go for the fucking 16 year old." Ymir didn't speak back to her father. She simply took in his words like punches.

"E-excuse me, s-sir." Historia tried speaking back. "I'm old enough to make decisions for m-myself." She spoke timidly, Ymir froze next to her.

"What bullshit have you been feeding this poor girl?" He continued to yell at Ymir anyway, blanking out Historia in the most patronising manner he could've possibly acted in. "I'm pretty sure this is illegal. And do you come here to at least apologize to your old man for soiling your family name? Of course you don't. You come here with the fucking _nerve_ to ask for my blessing. Fucking idiot." Ymir sat in silence, she didn't realize that she was gripping Historia's hand tighter. She didn't cry. Ymir had learned long ago that his words weren't worth her tears. Historia was a different matter. Her eyes started to water, drawing Ymir's attention. "You're so ignorant. You always have been. You never tried in school, you turned down a marriage proposal from a man that could've gotten you a well paid job, you're a fucking lesbian, you're a slacker, you don't give a shit about anyone and now this? You're pathetic. I wish I would've saved myself the two minutes and just not had sex with your mother in the first place. Worthless." He edged closer to her face. "Piece. Of. Shit." Historia whimpered as she cried next to Ymir. Then Ymir snapped.

"You see that? You made an innocent girl cry. How does that make me the bad guy? Don't take my failures as a reason to hate her."

"I don't hate her, you ignorant piece of shit. I'm sure she's a lovely girl. I just think that you're a perverted piece of shit. And don't you _dare_ speak back to me. Hell, don't even speak to me in the first place. I don't want to see you again. Get the fuck out of my house and don't come back! I'm selling all your stuff." He grabbed Ymir violently by the collar, dragging her to the front door of the house. He didn't realize at the time that Historia was still linked to her at the time so he ended up dragging them both. The girls were thrown out of the house and the door was slammed behind them. They stood outside for a while, still linked at the hand. Historia sobbed quietly for a second at the hideous display she just watched from a distance. It felt surreal, at the very least.

"Come on, Ymir. We'll go to my house for a while until we can get this figured out. We can fix this, Ymir." It was at this point when she realized that Ymir was stood still, save for the dull movements of her breathing. Ymir was staring at her with the most stoic expression she could manage plastered across her face. It had taken months before Ymir had opened up to her enough to stop wearing that expression. Now it was back again. "Ymir?" She asked weakly, fully aware that she wouldn't be getting a response for a while. Ymir pulled at her hand and they walked together. Historia realized just how strong Ymir's grip had been when the blood began flowing back to her hand. The two walked side by side along the abandoned street. They got to a bridge and instead of walking across it to get to Historia's home, Ymir lead her underneath it. That's where the two of them sat for a while as Ymir processed her situation. Her final reaction was one that Historia had never considered herself worthy enough to see in person. Ymir cried. It started as the brunette blinked a few times. Then spasms rocked her body occasionally. Eventually the tears started to flow freely. Historia rubbed her back gently. The two sat together, not speaking. Nobody else had ever seen Ymir cry. Nobody else ever would. Ymir's only weakness was Historia. She was the only person that would ever see this side to Ymir. It took a long time for Ymir to calm down. When she stopped crying she stood up. Historia remained seated. Ymir proceeded to kick the brick foundations of the bridge they were under. She kicked the brickwork until Historia saw blood on the part of the foot making contact with the solid surface. Historia stood up and grabbed her forearm gently. Ymir turned around and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.

"I'm sorry, Historia."

"For what?"

"He's right. I'm pathetic and a slacker and a pervert and _old_ and you shouldn't have to deal with it. You should find someone your own age. Someone who deserves you. God, you're amazing." Historia rolled her eyes. She pulled Ymir down by the collar to brush their lips together.

"I don't care how old you are. You're you and I'm me." That sounded better in her head. She panicked somewhat over her terrible word choice.

"You should care. Look, I have a ten on me. I'll go and find a hotel to stay at or some shit for tonight. After that, who knows? Maybe my old man'll forgive me. Probably not." Historia rubbed her back.

"Like hell are you leaving my side tonight. You're coming home with me. We'll explain the situation to my parents. I'm sure you can stay in the spare room for a while until this gets sorted. I'm not leaving you, Ymir." Ymir heard the truth in her words and leaned over, capturing Historia's lips once more. The two of them stayed that way for a while. They lost track of time in each other's arms. Age difference was always going to be a problem. Fortunately, Historia was willing to fix it for them.


	16. P

_**Something a little lighter for you all**_

P- Phobia

The clouds loomed over the city of Rose and thunder crackled from the sky. Christa sighed and pushed her little car right to the speed limit, driving along back roads to speed up her journey home. Ymir would be panicking by now. As much as she loved Ymir with all her heart, the fact that Ymir would hide in a corner of their apartment somewhere and shake fearfully did get on her nerves sometimes. Well, it was more to do with her self-described 'badass' of a girlfriend being afraid of something so harmless to them. It also gave Christa the most enormous ego boost, not that she'd tell Ymir this. _That_ would be cruel. By the time Christa reached their little apartment the rain was going crazy and there were cracks of thunder every half a minute or so. She unlocked the door to their shared home and then locked the door behind her once she was in. The sound she was greeted with was a quiet whimpering noise originating in the bedroom. Christa rolled her eyes and proceeded to creak the door open to their room. The sight in front of her was enough to force her to stifle a laugh. Ymir was cowering under the covers of their bed that was tucked against the wall. As soon as the brunette caught a glimpse of Christa, she spread herself out as much as possible to try and convince her girlfriend that she wasn't afraid. More thunder rumbled before a loud banging sound came from outside the window and Ymir shrieked. Christa couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"It's not that funny!" Ymir protested loudly, her voice still a little shaky from the cowering in fear. Christa rolled her eyes and flicked on the lights. She crawled into bed next to Ymir and started stroking her fingers through Ymir's hair. "Everyone has fears..."

"That's certainly true. But not everyone's fears are as ridiculous as this." Christa smirked at seeing the after-effects of her wry comment as Ymir stiffened. She could imagine the pouting freckled face that she couldn't quite see from the angle she was sat at.

"What are you even afraid of? How the hell are you the almighty fearless one and yet here I am?"

"Stupid, you're fearless at every other point in time. Apart from thunder and lightning. It's nice to see your frightened little girl side sometimes." Now it was Ymir's turn to smirk and be a smartass.

"Frightened little girls? Are you trying to tell me _another_ one of your kinks? God you have a big list of kinks for someone so small." Ymir's smug grin was interrupted by a swift headbutt to the back of the head.

"H-hey! I only tell you those because you ask me for them!" Another crash of thunder interrupted them and Ymir audibly yelped. Christa giggled at her girlfriend's discomfort. Should their positions be swapped, Ymir would have done the same thing.

"So what are you actually afraid of?" Ymir asked, trying to forget the fact that her stupid phobia was giving Christa an excuse to be overprotective. That was her job. Christa grew silent at Ymir's question. At that point Ymir realized that Christa's past may be related to her phobia. She could have just potentially fucked up. Ymir looked up and smiled a soft smile that she saved just for Christa. The two of them kissed gently until another bolt of lightning hit nearby and the thunder that followed almost deafened the both of them. Ymir jumped so high she almost hit the roof. Christa burst into heavy bouts of laughter as Ymir calmed herself. The younger girl was in tears by the time Ymir had managed to calm down.

"You just... I can't..." Christa breathed, laughing with delight. Ymir thought up a quick method of revenge. She wrapped her leg around Christa's and pinned the short blonde girl down on the bed.

"What was that?" Ymir breathed on Christa's neck. The blonde hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and Ymir smirked knowing that her job here was done. The weather seemed to calm outside and Ymir got more comfortable as the rain slowed and the storm ceased. The two of them lay like that for a while. Ymir wouldn't let her phobia stop her from spending quality time with Christa. She'd also have to find out what her phobia was at some point, but she knew that pushing her luck too far with Christa was a bad idea. After all, she also feared for her life when she pissed Christa off.


	17. Q

**_Trigger warning: Suicide._**

Q- Quitting

There was no way. Christa wouldn't do this. She wouldn't be so careless and they both knew it. Ymir's car honked and beeped wildly as she sped through the streets. The hospital. Of all places for Christa to be at the end of the night. Ymir knew that Christa had it tough. Hell, she'd confided in her enough. Those were the majority of the few conversations between them that Ymir had taken seriously. Ymir pulled up outside the hospital, locking her car without much care about whether it was stolen or not. She didn't plan on leaving this hospital until Christa got better anyway. There was no way Christa was quitting on her. Ymir stormed up to the front desk.

"I'm here to see Mrs Reiss." When they got married, Ymir had taken Christa's last name. Most people were expecting the reverse but Ymir never used her surname herself, never mind expecting Christa to use it. The woman behind the desk clacked her jaw, slowly moving her hands towards the keyboard.

"And your name is?"

"Ymir. Ymir Reiss."

"Sister?" The woman stared at her questioningly. Then she saw the ring on Ymir's third finger and cleared her throat awkwardly. "She's currently being operated on. Can you come back?"

"I'm not leaving." Ymir insisted. The woman shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

"She'll be in room 307 when she comes out of surgery. I'll let the doctor know that you'll be waiting on news." Ymir nodded gratefully and started to follow the signs. This was the second time this had happened. Heck, the first time was when Ymir confessed to Christa in the first place. She made her way through the hauntingly sterile white corridors of Maria North Hospital. Tears threatened to appear but Ymir forced them back again, fully acknowledging that she had to at least look strong for Christa. Room 307 took a long time to find yet in spite of this, when Ymir arrived there was still no trace of Christa. She paced about for a while inside the room. Soon Sasha and Connie would arrive and probably tell her to calm down despite being almost as worried as her. Almost. Nobody could be as worried for Christa as Ymir. Ymir could worry for her country. Soon the door opened and the Springers walked solemnly into the small room. She holds eye contact with them for a while and eventually they all gather together in a group hug.

"She'll be alright, Ymir. She's been through this process before. We'll all be okay." Sasha reassured her, not entirely convinced of the words she spoke herself. The trio waited for hours without saying any further words to each other. What if she succeeded this time? What if Ymir not being there was enough to send Christa over the edge? Ymir wanted to vomit at the very thought that it was her fault for not being present at the time of the incident. A sharp knock at the door appeared to make time cease passing. One of the Doctors appeared at the door, studying the scene in front of him.

"Mrs Reiss?" He called out unsurely, glancing between Sasha and Ymir. Ymir stepped forward cautiously. "Please step outside for a moment." She did as asked and the doctor followed behind her. As the door closed behind them he started again. "I'm sorry... We did all we could but..." He kept talking. Ymir didn't hear him. She reached out for a wall to lean on and stumbled a little. The doctor in front of her didn't stop to make sure she was okay. He continued relentlessly. Ymir's vision blurred. It couldn't be possible. She was drawn back to the one-sided conversation by a hand on her upper arm. "Mrs Reiss?"

"Can I see her?" Her voice was even lower than it usually was. She fought back the tears. She wasn't entirely certain as to why she bothered anymore. The only reason for her to be strong was long gone. Lost to the merciless grip of death itself. Ymir was lead to the Morgue. The place for families to pay their last respects. She pressed her face against the glass window between her and the room. Her eyes were instantly drawn to pale skin and a familiar head of hair. There, on that very table lay her reason for living. The body had been forced back into place but it was obvious where the fatal blow had come from. The bruise encircling her neck showed exactly what she did. It was pretty damn close to the mouth shaped marks on her neck that Ymir had merely left there the night before. It seemed like years ago.

"... Funeral..." That word drew her attention back to the poor doctor she'd been ignoring for a while now. Ymir didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about anything. She didn't want to think at all. Ymir moved before she could even think to move. "Excuse me. Mrs Reiss! Christa's-"

"Her name was Historia." Ymir corrected him, angered at his attempt to be sympathetic by using her nickname. "I'm getting some air." She informed him before she started the long and arduous journey up the stairs.

_Historia..._

_I can't do this without you. I can't live without you, nor can I be expected to cope with life's bullshit without you by my side. You quit. You gave up and you wouldn't admit it until the deed was done. Now you expect me to organise your funeral for you? You expect me to just mourn for you and then move on? I can't. You are all that I ever needed. Now you're gone... Well, there's only one option I have left. I can't say I've ever been one to believe in an afterlife, but on the off chance that there is... I'll be back with you again soon._

Ymir left the roof area of the hospital almost as soon as she arrived. She paused for a moment at the edge of the flat roof to picture Historia's face in her mind for a moment.

_If you can quit, so can I._

The body of Ymir Reiss was found approximately 37 minutes after the death of Historia Reiss at the back of Maria North Hospital. Their possessions were passed on to their next of kin as registered in Historia's will. They had a funeral together, probably to save on costs since they all had the same friends. The attending party could in fact be summed up as Christa's friends and family. Nobody attended on the behalf of Ymir alone. Then again, they were only known together.


	18. R

_**Wrote this one a while ago. I thought you'd all need some fluff after the extreme angst of last time. Enjoy!**_

R- Returning

For both partners to have an established career has always been an impressive feat throughout the course of history. Ymir was aware of this, and should probably be grateful that she was in one of these relationships. Even if she knew she'd be happier if she scrapped her job and devoted more time to Christa. Still, working at the bar wasn't the worst thing on Earth. Even if she was wary about Christa joining the military on a whim. Something about proving herself, probably. That seemed like her Christa. Ymir loved the fact that she got discounts on food and the cheapest drinks on offer due to working in a pub. She hated the fact that both her and Christa's careers left them with about an hour of each others' company per day. It was difficult, but Ymir was wary of Christa's wish to one day adopt a child of their own and so Ymir wanted some money in the bank so they had something to fall back on. Ymir sighed as she locked the steel doors of the Old Titan Pub and shoved a drunken patron away from her. She bid her farewells to Bertholdt who also worked late and began to walk the 300 yards home. It wasn't that far. She could probably ride her motorcycle there in about five minutes. That is, if she'd kept her motorcycle. The bag of cheap vodka that expired the next day rattled in her bag, as it already started to freeze. Ymir wrapped her coat tightly around her figure. Christa got home two hours before her, but set off three hours earlier. As she wandered down the three familiar streets towards their newly bought house in a small cul de sac, Ymir could only watch as her breath froze in front of her and her legs ached underneath her having bore her weight without sitting for 7 hours. She smiled as she saw their living room light still switched on. Ymir's strides lengthened having now seen her destination. She unlocked the door, fumbling through the three work-related keys to find her one personal house key. By the time she'd gotten into the living room, she saw a piece of paper on the sofa next to her beloved Christa.

_Happy Anniversary!_

Ymir rolled her eyes and put the alcohol in the fridge before going back to the living room. She smoothed out Christa's dishevelled hair and picked her up in her arms. Ymir carried Christa back up to their bedroom bridal style and placed her Christa in bed. She leant over and kissed Christa's forehead.

"Happy anniversary." She whispered as she placed a blanket over the top of the sleeping blonde girl.


	19. S

Scars

Ymir was aware that Historia had problems. She was the only one that knew. Others probably guessed, yet found it impossible due to the kindness of 'Christa'. Hearing and seeing are different things. Historia had hidden them well, but when there is nothing to hide them with, there is only so far one can go to hide them. Of course, during their first time they'd done it in pure darkness for the sake of Historia's dignity. The second time, Ymir saw it all. She saw the scars running along Historia's arm, the bruises on her stomach and her arms. Historia had been nervous and until that moment Ymir hadn't understood why. Instead of continuing as Ymir would have done with any of the women she'd slept with in the past, she stopped dead in place. Instead of sex, Ymir had chosen to take Historia into her arms. She'd reassured Historia that she would always be there for her, no matter what. The two of them had stayed there, simply laying together as Historia wept. Historia would have been apologetic but Ymir would not stand for such behaviour.

"No Historia. I'm sorry." Ymir stated simply. It confused Historia but to Ymir her words made perfect sense. She'd been through the same, once or twice. The fact that anyone would encourage Historia to damage her perfect skin or would cause the bruises that lined her body in the way that they have disgusted Ymir to the core of her very being. Ymir buried her face in the blonde hair atop the girl that meant everything to her. Neither party particularly cared about the fact that they were both stark naked. It didn't matter what they wore, the situation would be the same anyway. Historia's weeping slowed to a mild sobbing as she buried her wet face into Ymir's neck, inhaling the strong scent of Ymir as she cried. Ymir hummed a soft lullaby and Historia slowly fell asleep. The older woman didn't dare wake Historia. She knew that her girlfriend hadn't been sleeping well recently. It only seemed wise to not disturb her.

_The next morning..._

Christa had woken up first after having yet another nightmare. It was the sixth one in the past week. At least she'd woken up after 6am this time. She got up to make herself some breakfast. After getting dressed for the day, she made her way lazily towards the kitchen. She walked into the small room and looked inside the fridge for a few minutes. Flashes of the night before flew through her mind. Why did Ymir apologize to her? It wasn't her fault. If anything, Ymir stopped the cutting in its tracks. Historia put her toast into the toaster and pulled down the lever, yawning as she did so. Before the toast popped up again, Historia felt arms around her waist.

"Y-Ymir?"

"Who else?" The older girl sighed. "We need to talk about-"

"No we don't" Historia waved away her girlfriend as if it were nothing and as if she wasn't dealing with problems beyond what she was willing to admit. Ymir grabbed Historia's hand, turning her around and capturing her other hand in the process. Ymir looked down, her expression softer than usual.

"Yes." Ymir sighed. "Yes we do." Historia couldn't look her in the eye. Ymir already felt ashamed and she hadn't even said anything of any major importance yet. "There's no shame in admitting you have problems. None at all. I understand why you felt that you couldn't tell anyone, but you could've told me at least. Not as your wife, but as your friend. You're worth more than this, Historia. So much more. Don't think that it's beyond you. You're strong. You've coped this far. I know that you're strong enough to handle this. I just need you to believe it too."


	20. T

**_I'm back! Took me long enough. Inspiration kind of died and Hetalia beckoned me. It's shorter than most of them so far but yeah, enjoy!_**

T- Telling

Little Marco and Jean were sat on the carpet with their legs crossed when Ymir walked through the door, weary and ready for a nap. She'd completely forgotten that Mikasa and Historia had organised a play date for the boys. So it was a surprise to say the least when she stormed through the door, slammed it behind her, and turned around to meet the curious and slightly fearful gaze of her son.

"Ymir? You're back!" Historia proclaimed in the cheeriest, most welcoming manner she could despite her obvious exhaustion from dealing with two energetic young children. She embraced the older woman and pulled her head down to her level. "You have to help me; I'm losing my patience."

"Get them a drink of squash or something then take a break in the kitchen. I'll see what I can do." Ymir whispered back. The two of them pulled apart. Nobody ever expected Ymir to be particularly good with children since she was such a terrible example of an adult. Yet she was surprisingly good with them. Maybe it was her intimidating appearance or maybe it was something else. Nobody quite knew.

"Mummy!" Marco cried happily. It was generally agreed in their house that Ymir was Mummy and Historia was Mama.

"Hey, short stuff. Good day?"

"Yeah! Story!" Marco ordered quickly, hoping that Ymir wouldn't change her mind if he asked quickly enough.

"Sure thing, would you like to listen too, John?"

"Actually, my name's Jean..."

"Of course. I knew that. I was just pretending, kid!" She grinned, trying to cover up her mistake. "So, would you like to listen to one of my stories too, Jean?" The small blonde boy nodded eagerly. Ymir carried Marco over to the sofa and Jean followed along, ready to hear the stories that Marco had told him about at school. Marco was always bragging about how his mummy could tell the best stories in the world.

"Can you tell us the one about the girl who killed dragons?" Ah yes. The story that Ymir had told the boys which basically consisted of the main plot of Skyrim. Marco had thought that one to be particularly imaginative and he didn't understand why his mama had to leave part way through because she was laughing too much. Ymir smirked and nodded at him.

"Of course I can. So once upon a time, there was a young woman whose hair shone like the sun and whose eyes sparkled like the diamond in mama's shiny ring." The kids glanced over to Historia who had sat herself down in the armchair near the sofa. She kindly modelled her engagement ring. "She had many names, but the one most used to describe her was the Dragonborn..."

_39 minutes later..._

"So Alduin lay defeated, and the Dragonborn was victorious over all of Tamriel. The end." The boys sat with their mouths gaping open in shock.

"But what about the Blades?" Jean asked, his eyes wide. The higher voice woke Historia up from the nap she'd eased into during the story.

"They went back to the lives they'd made for themselves before the Dragonborn arrived." Ymir informed him, a confident smile on her face. She'd played through the game itself many times through before she moved in with Historia. Back in the days when she had nothing to do to occupy her time other than see Historia during the day. Jean was about to ask another question when a knock at the door distracted everyone in the room.

"I'll get it." Historia announced. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to announce that she was going to answer the door since the boys weren't going to do it and Ymir was probably stuck in place.

Historia opened the door to find Mikasa stood behind the entrance.

"Good evening Historia. I'm here to pick up Jean. Did he have a good time?"

"Ask him yourself, I'm sure he'll tell you all about it in the car on the way about. Did you and Annie have a nice date?"

"It was just what we needed. We'll have to repay you and Ymir for it." Mikasa replied, a polite smile spreading across her face.

"Look who it is, Jean-boy!" Ymir proclaimed loudly, carrying Marco in one arm and Jean in the other. Jean cheered and reached for Mikasa. Ymir passed her child over to her and he almost leapt into her arms. Historia rolled her eyes at how boisterously her wife was acting. Spending time with the kids had a habit of doing this to her, almost as if she never actually grew up - which Historia could definitely believe.

_Two hours later..._

Marco was fast asleep. Probably dreaming of a world filled with dragons and heroes and magic. Ymir and Historia were in bed in the next room. Historia was perched up against the wall and Ymir's head rested in her lap, her legs dangling off the bed.

"How the fuck are you, the worst influence in the world, so good with kids?" Historia persisted. "What's your secret?"

"Well." Ymir paused as if to think her answer through fully. "Wouldn't that be telling?"


End file.
